Subject: engorge
Love life letting you down?
Can't SATISFY your woman?
Perhaps the two of you should sit down and discuss the issue. By opening the lines of communication, your relationship (and, not incidentally, your love life) will improve tremendously.
Wednesday 25 June 2008
Wednesday 18 June 2008
Tempting but Ill-Advised Email Auto-Responses
Email can be a time-saving, productive tool; that is, except when your friends and family are the ones behind it.
New ways to let technology filter out the noise of life.
If Sender = Susan, Working Mum
Thank you for telling me that you’ve just dropped off little Benjamin and are heading into work “for a few hours before a lunch meeting.” I am glad to hear that your babysitter will be arriving later so that you and Charles can try that new restaurant. Your organizational skills and joie de vivre are staggering.
Still: How is any of this relevant to the subject of my original email—picking a time for a play date next Wednesday?
If Sender = Hannah, School Classmate
I know you hate your job and your sister is a nightmare and you wish she would move out and you haven’t had a date in 10 months. But didn’t you just get back from Paris? Thanks for the cute hat, but we’re at really different stages right now, girlfriend.
If Sender = Jodie, Stay-at-Home Mum
Many people are tired and underappreciated. Calling for an “infanticide watch” because Henry and Josie are home with fevers, however, isn’t funny, nor are the repeated references to sterilizing yourself and your husband.
Don’t email back until you stop referring to “dinner” as “supper.”
If Sender = Laura, PR Executive
I think your emailing style has been damaged by the years of cold calling. Remember: I know your first and last name. I know the hours it’s best to reach you, and I have your home, work, and mobile numbers, as well as the number at your second home. And yes, I even know how to reach your company’s web site.
But, most important, I know that I will not be able to help mulch the school playground on Friday, attend the Room Parent meeting on Monday, or help organize Parent Date Night.
Regards,
etc. etc.
If Sender = My Partner
Thanks for the link, but nothing is funny with a toddler screaming and pulling at your leg. Having a nice day?
If Sender = Nicole, Ex-College Housemate
Last book I read: The Daddy Mountain. Last book you read: The Letters of Wallace Stevens.
See the problem?
If Sender = The Lady at Church
It’s wonderful you found a community at St. Paul’s through the Young Family Potluck Dinner Club, but I will not. I went to church that day for solitude more than anything else. It was nice to meet you and you were kind to let me borrow your mobile after the service when I discovered my car had been towed—but I am not looking for a “Christian-oriented” play group right now. I don’t know what that would be. I don’t even know how you got this address. Please stop emailing me.
If Sender = My Mother
To view a photo sent by email, click on the attachment! It’s there. I swear.
Regarding your recent phone message: I appreciate the advice on diaper training, Ritalin use, TV programming, and the signs of emotional distress in toddlers, but please remember that our machine allows a message of one minute only. That voice telling you that you have 10 seconds remaining was not me picking up.
New ways to let technology filter out the noise of life.
If Sender = Susan, Working Mum
Thank you for telling me that you’ve just dropped off little Benjamin and are heading into work “for a few hours before a lunch meeting.” I am glad to hear that your babysitter will be arriving later so that you and Charles can try that new restaurant. Your organizational skills and joie de vivre are staggering.
Still: How is any of this relevant to the subject of my original email—picking a time for a play date next Wednesday?
If Sender = Hannah, School Classmate
I know you hate your job and your sister is a nightmare and you wish she would move out and you haven’t had a date in 10 months. But didn’t you just get back from Paris? Thanks for the cute hat, but we’re at really different stages right now, girlfriend.
If Sender = Jodie, Stay-at-Home Mum
Many people are tired and underappreciated. Calling for an “infanticide watch” because Henry and Josie are home with fevers, however, isn’t funny, nor are the repeated references to sterilizing yourself and your husband.
Don’t email back until you stop referring to “dinner” as “supper.”
If Sender = Laura, PR Executive
I think your emailing style has been damaged by the years of cold calling. Remember: I know your first and last name. I know the hours it’s best to reach you, and I have your home, work, and mobile numbers, as well as the number at your second home. And yes, I even know how to reach your company’s web site.
But, most important, I know that I will not be able to help mulch the school playground on Friday, attend the Room Parent meeting on Monday, or help organize Parent Date Night.
Regards,
etc. etc.
If Sender = My Partner
Thanks for the link, but nothing is funny with a toddler screaming and pulling at your leg. Having a nice day?
If Sender = Nicole, Ex-College Housemate
Last book I read: The Daddy Mountain. Last book you read: The Letters of Wallace Stevens.
See the problem?
If Sender = The Lady at Church
It’s wonderful you found a community at St. Paul’s through the Young Family Potluck Dinner Club, but I will not. I went to church that day for solitude more than anything else. It was nice to meet you and you were kind to let me borrow your mobile after the service when I discovered my car had been towed—but I am not looking for a “Christian-oriented” play group right now. I don’t know what that would be. I don’t even know how you got this address. Please stop emailing me.
If Sender = My Mother
To view a photo sent by email, click on the attachment! It’s there. I swear.
Regarding your recent phone message: I appreciate the advice on diaper training, Ritalin use, TV programming, and the signs of emotional distress in toddlers, but please remember that our machine allows a message of one minute only. That voice telling you that you have 10 seconds remaining was not me picking up.
Tuesday 10 June 2008
Little Girl Lost
Where is she?
That little girl all smiles and laughter
The one who saw only sunshine and light.
Her joy in life expressed in rainbows of color
Now only seen in Black and white.
Where is she?
That radiant child, who loved so freely.
Trusting those she loved
Would always protect her.
Now surrounded by strangers,
Afraid to trust,
After the betrayal of those she once held dear.
Where is she?
That open truthful child,
The one who did not know how to lie,
The one whose eyes were the morror to her soul.
Now she hides behind many masks
Never letting the world see
The emptiness she feels inside.
Where is she?
That child of innocence
Who thought her father, the knight of her childhood
Would slay all her Dragons.
And her mother the beautiful lady
Would send all her nightmares away.
Only to find that the Knights shining armour
Was tarnished and broken.
And the lady could not see the nightmare she lived
Nor hear her pleas for help.
Where is she?
That happy little girl
Who once sang her way through life
Slightly off key, but full of confdence.
Now she sings no more,
She silently cries in the night.
Where is she?
The little girl who knew what she wanted
And where she was headed in life.
Now she feels lost and alone
In a storm at sea
Surrounded by darkness and fear.
Where is she?
I found her in the deepest reaches of my soul
Hiding in the dark
Alone and silently weeping
For the things she had lost.
Where is she?
Slowly in broken toddlers steps
She quietly moves back toward the light
Silently, brick by brick
Tearing down the walls she hd built around her soul
And as she tells the terrible secrets of her childhood.
The nightmare that was her life
Begins to recede
Replaced by hopes & dreams
Once again in Rainbow Colors
Leaving behind the black and white.
© Summer Moon 1999
That little girl all smiles and laughter
The one who saw only sunshine and light.
Her joy in life expressed in rainbows of color
Now only seen in Black and white.
Where is she?
That radiant child, who loved so freely.
Trusting those she loved
Would always protect her.
Now surrounded by strangers,
Afraid to trust,
After the betrayal of those she once held dear.
Where is she?
That open truthful child,
The one who did not know how to lie,
The one whose eyes were the morror to her soul.
Now she hides behind many masks
Never letting the world see
The emptiness she feels inside.
Where is she?
That child of innocence
Who thought her father, the knight of her childhood
Would slay all her Dragons.
And her mother the beautiful lady
Would send all her nightmares away.
Only to find that the Knights shining armour
Was tarnished and broken.
And the lady could not see the nightmare she lived
Nor hear her pleas for help.
Where is she?
That happy little girl
Who once sang her way through life
Slightly off key, but full of confdence.
Now she sings no more,
She silently cries in the night.
Where is she?
The little girl who knew what she wanted
And where she was headed in life.
Now she feels lost and alone
In a storm at sea
Surrounded by darkness and fear.
Where is she?
I found her in the deepest reaches of my soul
Hiding in the dark
Alone and silently weeping
For the things she had lost.
Where is she?
Slowly in broken toddlers steps
She quietly moves back toward the light
Silently, brick by brick
Tearing down the walls she hd built around her soul
And as she tells the terrible secrets of her childhood.
The nightmare that was her life
Begins to recede
Replaced by hopes & dreams
Once again in Rainbow Colors
Leaving behind the black and white.
© Summer Moon 1999
Saturday 7 June 2008
Forget celebs, big brother numpties, football and the credit crunch, this is a proper news story.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1024468/Ticking-2-000lb-German-bomb-lying-gas-main-minute.html
They said at one point it started ticking so they stopped it by putting water on it. How does that work then? I think when they build the Olympic stadium they should clean the bomb and put it on display there. After it's safe, of course. Not sure if the German competitors would find it a bit off putting tho!!
They said at one point it started ticking so they stopped it by putting water on it. How does that work then? I think when they build the Olympic stadium they should clean the bomb and put it on display there. After it's safe, of course. Not sure if the German competitors would find it a bit off putting tho!!
Thursday 5 June 2008
Wednesday 4 June 2008
The new BBBM presenter announced
It is .....
Chris Moyles amongst others , Chris will be on week 2 (Tuesday 10th June to Friday 13th June)
why can't they just have one presenter and be done with it?
Chris Moyles amongst others , Chris will be on week 2 (Tuesday 10th June to Friday 13th June)
why can't they just have one presenter and be done with it?
Sunday 1 June 2008
Tori Amos + Survival
Tori's Letters To Survivors
Dear Friends,
For the past two years, I've sung "Me and a Gun" at every concert as a way of healing the place inside myself that has been hurt, enraged, and numbed by violence. For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions, and basically just express herself. I made a conscious choice when I put "Me and a Gun" on the record not to stay a victim anymore.You see, I was still a victim in my own mind from an experience that had happened a long time ago: I was torturing myself. Passion, joy, and love were not things I felt I could have or deserved anymore. I've been encouraged by wise ones, who taught me how to develop inner tools where I can understand these scared places in my being.
It took me many years to make the decision to deal with this, but a bitter woman was what I was becoming and when I was young I always saw myself as a passionate woman. I would say, "Well, she's dead." and the wise ones said, "It's your choice, Tori,if you want to bring her back to life, you can. She's only been sleeping - alone, in a very dark corner. It's your choice and there is help out there."
Healing takes courage and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it!
Love and support,
TORI AMOS
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